Well for the past week or so I've been overwhelmed with emotions. I think its just because of my hormonal imbalance? It hasn't been predominantly melancholy emotions, more along the lines of realizations. I seem to have alot of those, but for some reason they're the same exact realizations. I think that I'm looking too forward to being out of the house that I'm not exactly realizing what the hell I'll be missing. Think about it, once I move out... no more outtings with my masha to the thrift store. No more being woken up for dumb things like helping my parents out with the computer, and although I find it quite tedious... I think its kinda cute that they need me. I won't have those deep conversations with my mother on the way to pick up my sister, and I most definitely won't be able to ask my Dad for money every week. This whole self-dependent idea kinda freaks me out. Don't get my wrong, I'm over 100% capable of taking care of myself, its just that it's finally here you know? Second semester senior and well, college is literally right down the corner.
Well, its okay. On a lighter note, I recieved a letter telling me I got $10,000 from MSMC for college. They said it may be possible that they give me $40,000 for all four years, but I don't know, I won't get my hopes up too high.
Last Friday was really cute! Erik came over with Theodore, Shoes, & a vase full of vibrant flowers. We did that whole exchanging gift ceremony whateva despite the fact that our anniversary was like two weeks ago. Whatever :). We spent the night eating cookies we baked and watching Serendipity, we also got a little napping in, it was a cute way to spend a friday night... especially after a long tiring week.
Saturday was pretty fun. I was tired though, I'm not going to lie. I woke up around 7:45... my mental clock is horrible and well yeah. I got ready and did my makeup at Gen's house. Stefanie followed and I did her hair and makeup, then Tara came and I did her makeup as well. We ate musubi and I thought to myself, I wouldn't mind being old and playing bingo with these two [Gen&Stef] :). It rained but hey it wasn't that bad... kinda. I felt super sick and Erik took care of me. He's been taking care of me and I find it extra cute... esp because he just lets me sleep on him and he feeds me and and well I could go on forever but I'll just end it at that. We ate at denny's and it was pretty satisfying. Erik's parents took me home, I felt bad but at least I knew my life was in good hands for the 5.4 miles we drove. It was already 3:15 by the time I reached my bedroom so I took a shower and knocked the eff out.
Sunday was Tara's practice and I didn't go to church. I feel pretty shitty when I don't go to church :\ but it was my sister's birthday so I guess its okay. I decorated her room and my mom and I bought her chocolates, a bear, and a balloon. I pretty much poured my heart out onto these pieces of paper and cried, but I don't think my sister thought anything of it? Well I tried... then I had these really scary thoughts about the future and I started to think of that whole missing this and that phase. The future really does freak me out... whatever.
bye.
