if its not going to hurt me, and if i have nothing to lose... why should i care?
ive been talked to about this particular situation... or well... more like i bring up a situation asking if its "weird" and in return i get jaw drops and "what are you doing?" after receiving such negative feedback, i'm not exactly sure what to think about things. So here I am at the library, stumped on my english essay because i'm not sure how i'm supposed to feel. thing is, is that i know i'm completely over you, and there is no chance i would ever try to rekindle an old flame. i know you probably have no intention of doing so, and thats why i'm fine with it... its just that i hope you don't think i still like you or that its "just that easy" for you to come back. truth is, is that i really don't care about you anymore... neither do i care for you. i guess that is why i'm so confused. am i supposed to care that you're tryna hang out with me? am i supposed to care that... idk you know? its just weird. (: then again, i find everything weird and unpleasing.
on a lighter note:
i'm very happy with my life. i met my sister's friends last night and talked till around 4 in the morning and drove back to school. they agreed to take me to a baseball game and pay for my ticket... because they think that the dogers are better than the angels. i really beg to differ. other than that... (: i have a new room and i'm about to decorate it... riighhhhhhttttttt....
..... ... ... ... ... .. . . .
NOW!
January 26, 2009
January 19, 2009
(: we just don't care we just don't care.
Don't you love smiling? Don't you love it when you get all warm inside, and feel your cheekbones rise for a reason that is so miniscule it makes you laugh because you're still doing it?
Last night, in the midst of solving a very confusing situation I've come to realize quite alot. The aftermath of a breakup is pretty devastating, right? I'm sure all if not most can agree with that. We all go through this crazy process, where some days we feel absolutely wonderful inside, and the other days like we are the ugliest thing existing on this Earth. Well what differentiates the girls who are better off alone from the girls who don't understand why they are crying everyday?
My theory is this (it is somewhat tied up to the ABC theory but... whatever)
In psychology class, Dr. Travis taught us that the main reason why people get overly depressed is because they have some sort of belief that makes them depress. In their head, correct me if I'm wrong, a girl believes that if a male chose to leave her... its probably because she just wasn't good enough. When a woman feels that she isn't good enough, she then magnifies her flaws. She then goes to the extremes such as "no one wants me" and so on and so forth. Don't deny it, I've gone through that as well, but its okay. She then takes the advice of other people that well.. no one truly "gets over" someone until they encounter a new person worthy of time investment. The woman is desperate to find someone new that when its quite obvious that she isn't finding anyone, she falls back into thoughts of her ex-lover and how he was "perfect" for her. What disappoints me in this situation is that no one should feel like they need someone there.
Over this weekend I've surrounded myself with people who enjoy being single, or at least they know how to deal with it.
This is where I become extremely excited that I'm not one of those depressed girls. One should be relieved not being in a relationship. Why? Because we're only 18-19 and a relationship shouldn't be our number one priority. These are the best years of our lives, do you really want to be tied down by a significant other? I don't know about you, but I've never felt so great in my life. Girls, you need to explore yourself... find out what YOU like, not what some guy would like about you. You go out and have fun for yourself, laugh and smile because you want to, just do everything for YOURSELF and no one else. Girls who fail to see that life is only as good as it is alone than it is to be in a relationship miss out on the rest of life. Seriously, life is too precious to let it go to waste over some guy that took up..what? like a couple of years of your life. In the BIG picture, 2-3 years is nothing compared to the 70 years you will be living.
So smile, have some fun, and be happy cus (: you deserve it.
Last night, in the midst of solving a very confusing situation I've come to realize quite alot. The aftermath of a breakup is pretty devastating, right? I'm sure all if not most can agree with that. We all go through this crazy process, where some days we feel absolutely wonderful inside, and the other days like we are the ugliest thing existing on this Earth. Well what differentiates the girls who are better off alone from the girls who don't understand why they are crying everyday?
My theory is this (it is somewhat tied up to the ABC theory but... whatever)
In psychology class, Dr. Travis taught us that the main reason why people get overly depressed is because they have some sort of belief that makes them depress. In their head, correct me if I'm wrong, a girl believes that if a male chose to leave her... its probably because she just wasn't good enough. When a woman feels that she isn't good enough, she then magnifies her flaws. She then goes to the extremes such as "no one wants me" and so on and so forth. Don't deny it, I've gone through that as well, but its okay. She then takes the advice of other people that well.. no one truly "gets over" someone until they encounter a new person worthy of time investment. The woman is desperate to find someone new that when its quite obvious that she isn't finding anyone, she falls back into thoughts of her ex-lover and how he was "perfect" for her. What disappoints me in this situation is that no one should feel like they need someone there.
Over this weekend I've surrounded myself with people who enjoy being single, or at least they know how to deal with it.
This is where I become extremely excited that I'm not one of those depressed girls. One should be relieved not being in a relationship. Why? Because we're only 18-19 and a relationship shouldn't be our number one priority. These are the best years of our lives, do you really want to be tied down by a significant other? I don't know about you, but I've never felt so great in my life. Girls, you need to explore yourself... find out what YOU like, not what some guy would like about you. You go out and have fun for yourself, laugh and smile because you want to, just do everything for YOURSELF and no one else. Girls who fail to see that life is only as good as it is alone than it is to be in a relationship miss out on the rest of life. Seriously, life is too precious to let it go to waste over some guy that took up..what? like a couple of years of your life. In the BIG picture, 2-3 years is nothing compared to the 70 years you will be living.
So smile, have some fun, and be happy cus (: you deserve it.
January 18, 2009
before i forget it all
(: its been quite a bombtastic week (: from beginning to end. FAH`REEEYULLS
hahaha alright so lets talk about it
i moved back into escuela on... sunday? i was so tired from the day before...i think... that i really didn't feel like packing or doing anything (: BTW the day before i went to yastin's house and jammed till around 12ish-1ish and it was really nice and relaxing fersher.
so sunday i moved into school... told them that we should celebrate or something or just leave campus for the hells of it and so we did. we popped champagne ohh ohh.. haha not really but we went to ralph's to pick up stuff for school. bought a couple of smart waters for hiphop and all the other times we needed it for working out. then... we went to taco bell [BTW you volcano taco lovers... the tacobell on santa monica and 11th still serves them hehe] (: and then to the SM pier. it was beautiful. we bought apple cider but we didnt have a bottle opener... so hahaha we asked all these random sketchy guys if they had one... but they didn't so we ended up using a lighter because some dude said it'd work and it did. you learn something new everyday (:. had some apple cider and yeah just laughed and talked about the most random things. poor marc didn't come with us tho... we was too busy cleaning his fridge.
on monday i effing slept through 3 of my classes. typical me... but whatever (: i'm shaping up. i woke up in time for hiphop (: w/ rosyp and my teacher kinda scares me but isss coool. haha! i had work till 6 then um... i think we went out but i really don't remember where. OH YAH ahahah me and jocelyn went to go get some yoshinoya and chilled in tiff's room afterwards. they went to friggn` ralphs again haha (:. talked as usual then went to my room to K.O. (: slept in through my lab class because i switched to thursday. it was nice....
on tuesday oh man we took naps in marcs room. i love i love seriously <3. then we really didn't know what to do so we went and got marc some dolla dolla bills and b of a and then met up with everyone again. headed over to topanga mall and got some stuff. niiiice (: my car ran low on oil so me and rosyp pulled some mechanical stuff outta our butts while everyone else took a gazillion pictures of themselves. following all of that we went back to mount and chilled for a little bit then K.O. woo.
wednesday, my actual first day of class (:. mr. bonnel is whatevs idk he tries to hard to make us laugh, but its 8 oclock in the morning and no one really cares. mrs. hamblet was happy to see me in class, she smiled (: then we had sci con where... my teacher hella put me on blast. lol sweeeet! um... had heep hop again! we got to work on our abs, it felt soo good! went to marc's dorm for a lil bit hahaha and helped him kinda with the broken vacuum! haha then i had to work work work and so i worked worked worked (: and then left to go home. had jocelyn come with me and yeaaah. grubbed at my house and everything. brought the hello panda back. yummm!!! when we got back we k.o. like a mother effer!
thursday was a drag juss a lil bit! we went to... lab w/ chang and she knows my name now. its a little scary but whatever! hahaha lab isn't that bad, i definitely like physio better than anatomy and sci con better than microbiology so its all good in my neighborhood. chang talked to me in phsyio lecture and whatevs... ummm... chilled in marc's room for a little bit and had dinner together. it was cutesy with creight. found out diodio was going to be at mount for bball so we watched bball practice for a little bit. lindsey made up ugly moves haha for her techno music. then she busted out some taylor swift. hahaha eeewww (: ! left bball practice to watch some ABDC! hahaha its going to be a good season for sure! after that we went to the pangkat social. they bribed us w/ some pizza and cupcakes!!! left the social to get some liq and so we went on a mission to westwood and whatever! haha we're so dumb. we got to marc's dorm and i was eating and drinking so i felt sick. pauline wanted to come and visit and they were at the bottom of my school, however i was too busy in the restroom so i never picked up her calls. ): kawawa!!! they had to take care of me and then i went to sleep and woke up and went to class in what i wore the day before. it was so disgusting.
friday!!!!!! was so frustrating. i dont want to talk about the day part. lets just skip to the roadtrip to SD. cambear is a crazy man fersher!!! we got to sd in about an hour WITH TRAFFIC. it was intense! went to derek's dorm and got ready for j. legend the mann! woowoo! we missed almost all of estelle but made it in time for american boy! haha dope! me and meca made up games for P.D.A. and cute boys! haha i love i love fah`reals. JOHN LEGEND IS SOOOO EFFING GOOD LIVE! real talk. after the concert we realized we both didn't have our phones and we didn't know where everyone else was so i memorized jocey's first 3 numbers of her phone number and meca remembered the last 4. it was funny cus we asked some nerdy asian dude and he was nervous! hahahahahaha... then we walked to them and they found us at marshall so we went off to... the hotel and then to dicks! OMG DICKS WAS SO FUNN hahaha even though all the guys except cameron were piss drunk! ugh hahaha so annoying, but its cool cus they liked us. apparently im a flower whore and meca's pocahontas whore. after we went to the hotel or whatever and then walked to the beach and sat on a cliff. it was so nice listening to the waves crash and stuff... and then... one huge one came and wet me a jocey! what tha! haha (: so we went back to the dorm and jocey knocked out while i was changing. then i sat next to her and we started eating cocoa pebbles and watched t.v. good bonding time fersher. everyone came back and then we wanted to go to the beach again! so we went except jocey slept cus she had work and danny and steven hella passed out! so it was derek meca bryan cambear and me. ABC [me, bry, and cam] had the sleeping bag and we just layed down and looked at the stars but it got super cold so we all huddled and stuff. it was funny... but then it got really really cold so we went back to the hotel around 4 or 5 i dont remember! i knocked out sick like and idk what bry and cam did. HAHAHA danny woke up with writing all over his face it was SO funny! everyone woke up for breakfast but i just ended up falling asleep even longer.
next day... ugh i was so tired!!! hahaha we went back to dereks dorm and yeah... um the boys played football for a lil bit while me and meca walked around a lil bit. ate at obt which was pretty good and they all reminisced about "back then". it was cute but i was so exhausted so i guess i was pretty dead during that portion of the day. sat in derek's dorm and talked even more... haha watched victoria on the maury show LOLs. I SHO DID! felt like going home so we headed out... but while we were tryna head out everyone kept getting distracted. the boys climbed and jumped on everything. i dunnos. we left SD! on the ride home we played the "name that tune" game and laughed about hahaha "BETCH" "SHOES" omg hahahaha sorry cam. lols ahahhaha rofl hahahahaha my favorite. hahaha well yah. then i got home and got ready. drove over to jocey's house. she took FOREVER to get ready, like seriously lol! then we met up with colin and troy for dinner at buca di beppo in irvine. thheeee mooosstt awkward dinner ever lol. but its cool i guess. i was so tired but whatever! walked around with troy so we could give them alone time but they ended up following us anyways so that was pointless. haha i think we spent a good hour to two hours figuring out what to do. ahh well.. what are you going to do? we ended up going to their friend's condo which was completely empty and watched movies. i knocked out for a while... then woke up and asked to go home. party foul righhht? lols whatever! got home around 4ish and seriously K.O.!
i woke up at 4 today and im still really tired. my parents spoil me and make me whatever i want. its nice being home sometimes <3 i love being in college!
life is good as long as you stay positive.
hahaha alright so lets talk about it
i moved back into escuela on... sunday? i was so tired from the day before...i think... that i really didn't feel like packing or doing anything (: BTW the day before i went to yastin's house and jammed till around 12ish-1ish and it was really nice and relaxing fersher.
so sunday i moved into school... told them that we should celebrate or something or just leave campus for the hells of it and so we did. we popped champagne ohh ohh.. haha not really but we went to ralph's to pick up stuff for school. bought a couple of smart waters for hiphop and all the other times we needed it for working out. then... we went to taco bell [BTW you volcano taco lovers... the tacobell on santa monica and 11th still serves them hehe] (: and then to the SM pier. it was beautiful. we bought apple cider but we didnt have a bottle opener... so hahaha we asked all these random sketchy guys if they had one... but they didn't so we ended up using a lighter because some dude said it'd work and it did. you learn something new everyday (:. had some apple cider and yeah just laughed and talked about the most random things. poor marc didn't come with us tho... we was too busy cleaning his fridge.
on monday i effing slept through 3 of my classes. typical me... but whatever (: i'm shaping up. i woke up in time for hiphop (: w/ rosyp and my teacher kinda scares me but isss coool. haha! i had work till 6 then um... i think we went out but i really don't remember where. OH YAH ahahah me and jocelyn went to go get some yoshinoya and chilled in tiff's room afterwards. they went to friggn` ralphs again haha (:. talked as usual then went to my room to K.O. (: slept in through my lab class because i switched to thursday. it was nice....
on tuesday oh man we took naps in marcs room. i love i love seriously <3. then we really didn't know what to do so we went and got marc some dolla dolla bills and b of a and then met up with everyone again. headed over to topanga mall and got some stuff. niiiice (: my car ran low on oil so me and rosyp pulled some mechanical stuff outta our butts while everyone else took a gazillion pictures of themselves. following all of that we went back to mount and chilled for a little bit then K.O. woo.
wednesday, my actual first day of class (:. mr. bonnel is whatevs idk he tries to hard to make us laugh, but its 8 oclock in the morning and no one really cares. mrs. hamblet was happy to see me in class, she smiled (: then we had sci con where... my teacher hella put me on blast. lol sweeeet! um... had heep hop again! we got to work on our abs, it felt soo good! went to marc's dorm for a lil bit hahaha and helped him kinda with the broken vacuum! haha then i had to work work work and so i worked worked worked (: and then left to go home. had jocelyn come with me and yeaaah. grubbed at my house and everything. brought the hello panda back. yummm!!! when we got back we k.o. like a mother effer!
thursday was a drag juss a lil bit! we went to... lab w/ chang and she knows my name now. its a little scary but whatever! hahaha lab isn't that bad, i definitely like physio better than anatomy and sci con better than microbiology so its all good in my neighborhood. chang talked to me in phsyio lecture and whatevs... ummm... chilled in marc's room for a little bit and had dinner together. it was cutesy with creight. found out diodio was going to be at mount for bball so we watched bball practice for a little bit. lindsey made up ugly moves haha for her techno music. then she busted out some taylor swift. hahaha eeewww (: ! left bball practice to watch some ABDC! hahaha its going to be a good season for sure! after that we went to the pangkat social. they bribed us w/ some pizza and cupcakes!!! left the social to get some liq and so we went on a mission to westwood and whatever! haha we're so dumb. we got to marc's dorm and i was eating and drinking so i felt sick. pauline wanted to come and visit and they were at the bottom of my school, however i was too busy in the restroom so i never picked up her calls. ): kawawa!!! they had to take care of me and then i went to sleep and woke up and went to class in what i wore the day before. it was so disgusting.
friday!!!!!! was so frustrating. i dont want to talk about the day part. lets just skip to the roadtrip to SD. cambear is a crazy man fersher!!! we got to sd in about an hour WITH TRAFFIC. it was intense! went to derek's dorm and got ready for j. legend the mann! woowoo! we missed almost all of estelle but made it in time for american boy! haha dope! me and meca made up games for P.D.A. and cute boys! haha i love i love fah`reals. JOHN LEGEND IS SOOOO EFFING GOOD LIVE! real talk. after the concert we realized we both didn't have our phones and we didn't know where everyone else was so i memorized jocey's first 3 numbers of her phone number and meca remembered the last 4. it was funny cus we asked some nerdy asian dude and he was nervous! hahahahahaha... then we walked to them and they found us at marshall so we went off to... the hotel and then to dicks! OMG DICKS WAS SO FUNN hahaha even though all the guys except cameron were piss drunk! ugh hahaha so annoying, but its cool cus they liked us. apparently im a flower whore and meca's pocahontas whore. after we went to the hotel or whatever and then walked to the beach and sat on a cliff. it was so nice listening to the waves crash and stuff... and then... one huge one came and wet me a jocey! what tha! haha (: so we went back to the dorm and jocey knocked out while i was changing. then i sat next to her and we started eating cocoa pebbles and watched t.v. good bonding time fersher. everyone came back and then we wanted to go to the beach again! so we went except jocey slept cus she had work and danny and steven hella passed out! so it was derek meca bryan cambear and me. ABC [me, bry, and cam] had the sleeping bag and we just layed down and looked at the stars but it got super cold so we all huddled and stuff. it was funny... but then it got really really cold so we went back to the hotel around 4 or 5 i dont remember! i knocked out sick like and idk what bry and cam did. HAHAHA danny woke up with writing all over his face it was SO funny! everyone woke up for breakfast but i just ended up falling asleep even longer.
next day... ugh i was so tired!!! hahaha we went back to dereks dorm and yeah... um the boys played football for a lil bit while me and meca walked around a lil bit. ate at obt which was pretty good and they all reminisced about "back then". it was cute but i was so exhausted so i guess i was pretty dead during that portion of the day. sat in derek's dorm and talked even more... haha watched victoria on the maury show LOLs. I SHO DID! felt like going home so we headed out... but while we were tryna head out everyone kept getting distracted. the boys climbed and jumped on everything. i dunnos. we left SD! on the ride home we played the "name that tune" game and laughed about hahaha "BETCH" "SHOES" omg hahahaha sorry cam. lols ahahhaha rofl hahahahaha my favorite. hahaha well yah. then i got home and got ready. drove over to jocey's house. she took FOREVER to get ready, like seriously lol! then we met up with colin and troy for dinner at buca di beppo in irvine. thheeee mooosstt awkward dinner ever lol. but its cool i guess. i was so tired but whatever! walked around with troy so we could give them alone time but they ended up following us anyways so that was pointless. haha i think we spent a good hour to two hours figuring out what to do. ahh well.. what are you going to do? we ended up going to their friend's condo which was completely empty and watched movies. i knocked out for a while... then woke up and asked to go home. party foul righhht? lols whatever! got home around 4ish and seriously K.O.!
i woke up at 4 today and im still really tired. my parents spoil me and make me whatever i want. its nice being home sometimes <3 i love being in college!
life is good as long as you stay positive.
January 12, 2009
back at school
& i'm completely over it all
on the other hand (: hehe. man i love my life sometimes. P.S. mcdonalds looks so good right now but... i'm on a diet so whatever.
on the other hand (: hehe. man i love my life sometimes. P.S. mcdonalds looks so good right now but... i'm on a diet so whatever.
January 11, 2009
unbelievable
its always the people you least expect. who the hell does that anyways? at least have the decency to break up with me first then do whatever you need to do to clear your confusion. sorry kid, but you can't have your cake and eat it too. i can't believe i stayed with you, after everything seriously. in the end i look like a dumbass because the whole time i was tryna win you back, you were over on the side really making sure you didn't like her instead of me. well hey, guess what? karma is seriously going to bite the two of you in the ass. another thing that completely amazes me is how you, yes you you little girl, had the audacity to get frustrated with me. what the fuck? you have no right. i'm the one who is supposed to be pissed, remember?! gosh, i wish i could make both your lives a living hell, oh thats right i actually can, but then i would be scooping down to your guys' level and thats bullshit. i hope that the both of you are happy together cheating on each other. seriously if there's something i hate, its cheaters and people that put words in my mouth. oh and WOW way to try to make it seem like you really know me, telling me "i know whatever i say won't matter to you, i know that i'm a bitch". don't do that, seriously don't you just make me even more mad.
DON'T TRY TO FUCKING JUSTIFY WHAT YOU DID, BECAUSE ITS WRONG AND THATS THE END. DON'T TRY TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL BETTER, BECAUSE HONESTLY YOU DESERVE TO FEEL LIKE SHIT. AND LASTLY I HONESTLY DON'T GET HOW THE BOTH OF YOU SLEPT AT NIGHT, WHAT FUCKERS
oh and ERIK yeah, i said your name because the chances of you reading this may be pretty high. i honestly can't believe i spent three years with you, and i honestly cant believe you thought that you coming all the way over from SD to tell me A WEEK AFTER that you cheated on me would make things better. it doesn't do anything besides make me hate you more, but hey i hope it makes you feel better... you know, finally doing something right?
ugh, i just wish i could have slapped you more than once because i seriously hate you that much.
DON'T TRY TO FUCKING JUSTIFY WHAT YOU DID, BECAUSE ITS WRONG AND THATS THE END. DON'T TRY TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL BETTER, BECAUSE HONESTLY YOU DESERVE TO FEEL LIKE SHIT. AND LASTLY I HONESTLY DON'T GET HOW THE BOTH OF YOU SLEPT AT NIGHT, WHAT FUCKERS
oh and ERIK yeah, i said your name because the chances of you reading this may be pretty high. i honestly can't believe i spent three years with you, and i honestly cant believe you thought that you coming all the way over from SD to tell me A WEEK AFTER that you cheated on me would make things better. it doesn't do anything besides make me hate you more, but hey i hope it makes you feel better... you know, finally doing something right?
ugh, i just wish i could have slapped you more than once because i seriously hate you that much.
January 6, 2009
oh hi (:
gosh I don't know, just don't mess up or something (:
haha over the past couple of, well I don't know hahaha everyone has be IMing me about how to get over a relationship and what not. Thing is, I'm completely fine... but I guess I'm glad they're concerned haha. (: I seriously love my friends & I am sooo cold right now.
OH DELISH buffalo wild wing @ 1 then the shoppes to "get" some stuff with jocelyn ;). whatever
tahmallow me and jocey are having lunch with jason, idk where but ees cool. what else am I doing this week? kdfjghljdksh um Thursday... ... hm... hahaha I really don't know what I'm doing OH YAH maybe clubbing again hm? excited!
friday... maybe zee beach, but its a little chilly. YAY i found my black bikini dough, so i can wear it when we go to SD. its prolly going to be cold but whatever <3.
i think my china slim tea is working a little bit, or maybe i just don't eat as much as i normally would. that makes me really happy. i like eat an actual meal once a day, whateverrrrr my metabolism is going to slow down like crazy. :) LOOP LOOP LOOP when i get back to school. i have soo many plans now <3 i love i love. okay i guess i should go and shower or something. PEACE OWT
January 5, 2009
sweet :D
Ugh lol I can't believe I woke up at 8 and slept at like 130. I have a feeling I knocked out on the phone w/ sean. Hahaha woooooops :]. Itsk, cus he understands. Mmhm.
Well last night I drank my tea, and it didn't hit me till this morning. My aunt was right tho, it really feels like someone is constantly punching your bladder. Haha uggghhhhhhh :) itsk, the road to beauty is never easy. It is january 5! :[ I have to move back in this weekend and I don't want to leave yet! Oh my break was sooooo fun :D!
Blahblahblahblah
Dear you,
Im completely over you. Ouch. I know :) but hoorah for me. I don't feel like making the effort to be your friend because... that's just dumb that I still have to work for something.p
OMG SLIM TEA IS KICKING IN AGAAAAAAIN T__T
Well last night I drank my tea, and it didn't hit me till this morning. My aunt was right tho, it really feels like someone is constantly punching your bladder. Haha uggghhhhhhh :) itsk, the road to beauty is never easy. It is january 5! :[ I have to move back in this weekend and I don't want to leave yet! Oh my break was sooooo fun :D!
Blahblahblahblah
Dear you,
Im completely over you. Ouch. I know :) but hoorah for me. I don't feel like making the effort to be your friend because... that's just dumb that I still have to work for something.p
OMG SLIM TEA IS KICKING IN AGAAAAAAIN T__T
January 4, 2009
happy!
2009, you're definitely treating me well :D!
I think I've had way more fun in the past four days than I have been having the whole break. I've genuinely happy for myself, being with people I want to be with and just laughing because I feel like laughing and not because I should. Its amazing how quickly I've come to realize that life is honestly too precious and that seriously, every single second counts. There's no reason to be completely miserable and if there is... the guy out there that is worth it won't make you feel miserable.
I can honestly say I am very very pleased with my life right now, im not going to lie, I still get very annoyed very easily. Anyways this is what I have been doing since the 31st.
:] mm...
31: gym w/ justin, stef eff, ralp, steph lim, and meca. Weird cus I never really thought id hang out w/ meca or stef like that ever :] you gain some you lose some. We then wasted the rest of the day at stephs house watching dog whisper and ellen degenerus (sp). Good stuff esp the "underwater see-er" hahahahahha <3. Went home to find my father preparing "new years eve dinner". The food was so delish I couldn't believe it. I then hurried went to meca's and left to party search (even tho we all knew we'd end up at tayors!) we went to DB haha and it was like a hs freshman party ew! Haa then chino and claremont which were both negatives. Ended up at taylors which was chill then went to brian perez's. Beautiful :] I was the only sober one so I was DD in the end. Kinda eff'd up cus I left cameron while he was throwing up! Hahahaha ahh well... better luck next time! Got home, then meca and jocey slept over but came at like 545! Didn't sleep till 615-630 and woke up at like 930 =__=!
1st: meca left and me and jocey just stayed in my room talking. Then my sister made us breakfast :]. Screwed around w/ zaldy about some stuff... but we ended up doing it anyways. So zaldy came over around...12ish-1ish then went to mecas to pick up joceys stuff =/ waited forever! Um... then got food w/ meca. Lol "um... this isn't water... its green!" ahahahaha soo funny! Went to... azers and chilled. "I took the one way ride to happiness" zaldy is too funny :]. Went home and kinda knocked out. I think I talked to seany... but I fell asleep a lot haaha!
2nd: woke up at 1030! Weird huh? Lol :] stayed in bed at told a buncha people to hang w/ me. Picked up michael and went to pho... even tho I agreed to eat pho w/ pun! Had a very delightful lunch together, dropped him off and picked up little pun and went to beb's house to wake her up! Hahaha "don't smell my breath!" omg lol talked till 4... then went to pho.. Again! Haha. After I dropped them off and picked up my coosans for our tripod date. Ended up at our old hangout spot and took a trillion pictures. Then we played mario kart at azzedines then I bolted home cus jocey was on her way. Got ready and went to dannys then cub avalon w/ honestly everyone and their moms :]. AHAAHA some guy I danced w/ or was forced to dance w/ kinda was singing in my ear. Gross man LMAO but it was mosdef a fun night <3. Got home around 4. My mom came in my room and talked to me and told me she was glad I was having fun :]
3rd: woke up at two... :] um...?!? OH YAH went over to the Sand household to pick up my phone. Watched steven's fish w/ derek and cameron for a good 15 minutes... then I guess some old family friends came over so I talked to them. Bugged my sister and we ate pizza! Haha then I picked up deejae and went to seanys! Had a "tim tam slam" so delish! Australia is officially one of my favorite countries haha. Watched the strangers then sat and talked!
Got home and realized that life is good <3
Tomorrow is going to be an adventure too! Mm yay for pho in monterey park, byebye lunches, and bball games in anaheim w/ the bestie!
:]
I think I've had way more fun in the past four days than I have been having the whole break. I've genuinely happy for myself, being with people I want to be with and just laughing because I feel like laughing and not because I should. Its amazing how quickly I've come to realize that life is honestly too precious and that seriously, every single second counts. There's no reason to be completely miserable and if there is... the guy out there that is worth it won't make you feel miserable.
I can honestly say I am very very pleased with my life right now, im not going to lie, I still get very annoyed very easily. Anyways this is what I have been doing since the 31st.
:] mm...
31: gym w/ justin, stef eff, ralp, steph lim, and meca. Weird cus I never really thought id hang out w/ meca or stef like that ever :] you gain some you lose some. We then wasted the rest of the day at stephs house watching dog whisper and ellen degenerus (sp). Good stuff esp the "underwater see-er" hahahahahha <3. Went home to find my father preparing "new years eve dinner". The food was so delish I couldn't believe it. I then hurried went to meca's and left to party search (even tho we all knew we'd end up at tayors!) we went to DB haha and it was like a hs freshman party ew! Haa then chino and claremont which were both negatives. Ended up at taylors which was chill then went to brian perez's. Beautiful :] I was the only sober one so I was DD in the end. Kinda eff'd up cus I left cameron while he was throwing up! Hahahaha ahh well... better luck next time! Got home, then meca and jocey slept over but came at like 545! Didn't sleep till 615-630 and woke up at like 930 =__=!
1st: meca left and me and jocey just stayed in my room talking. Then my sister made us breakfast :]. Screwed around w/ zaldy about some stuff... but we ended up doing it anyways. So zaldy came over around...12ish-1ish then went to mecas to pick up joceys stuff =/ waited forever! Um... then got food w/ meca. Lol "um... this isn't water... its green!" ahahahaha soo funny! Went to... azers and chilled. "I took the one way ride to happiness" zaldy is too funny :]. Went home and kinda knocked out. I think I talked to seany... but I fell asleep a lot haaha!
2nd: woke up at 1030! Weird huh? Lol :] stayed in bed at told a buncha people to hang w/ me. Picked up michael and went to pho... even tho I agreed to eat pho w/ pun! Had a very delightful lunch together, dropped him off and picked up little pun and went to beb's house to wake her up! Hahaha "don't smell my breath!" omg lol talked till 4... then went to pho.. Again! Haha. After I dropped them off and picked up my coosans for our tripod date. Ended up at our old hangout spot and took a trillion pictures. Then we played mario kart at azzedines then I bolted home cus jocey was on her way. Got ready and went to dannys then cub avalon w/ honestly everyone and their moms :]. AHAAHA some guy I danced w/ or was forced to dance w/ kinda was singing in my ear. Gross man LMAO but it was mosdef a fun night <3. Got home around 4. My mom came in my room and talked to me and told me she was glad I was having fun :]
3rd: woke up at two... :] um...?!? OH YAH went over to the Sand household to pick up my phone. Watched steven's fish w/ derek and cameron for a good 15 minutes... then I guess some old family friends came over so I talked to them. Bugged my sister and we ate pizza! Haha then I picked up deejae and went to seanys! Had a "tim tam slam" so delish! Australia is officially one of my favorite countries haha. Watched the strangers then sat and talked!
Got home and realized that life is good <3
Tomorrow is going to be an adventure too! Mm yay for pho in monterey park, byebye lunches, and bball games in anaheim w/ the bestie!
:]
January 2, 2009
:] all you need is
Your friends, and activities to keep you busy
<3 and I realize I feel soo much better after talking to all my friends again. All of them, including the ones I had lost before :) it just makes me feel a lot better.
So new years huh?
I guess I've made a couple of resolutions, though I know im not one to follow through with resolutions, I figure I should give it a shot! :]
1.) 4.0 yes? I can do it
2.) Lose weight
3.) Get lighter [idk how, but I will]
4.) Say what's on my mind when I know I should
5.) Just be chill and not think about things sooo much
6.) :] become super hot (courtesy of joseph flores)
7.) Just be an all around better person that people and myself would like to be around :]
So those are my resolutions. They're pretty good right? Hahaha mmm... pho at 12... I feel like I just ate. Ugh I hate eating now man! Hahaha.I think im sick but whatever.
I've been talking to seany everynight for the past week. I really do owe him a lot, I guess I buy him some pie or something.
Oh yesterday we played basketball. Remind me to not play against meca. I nearly died :] haha it was sooo funny <3!
My days are so packed with everything! Gah I love my friends sooooo much. :) they make life worth living. Mm I just don't want to go back to school now because of them. Haha :] ahhh well. What are you going to do? Lols.
Sidenote: I laugh really hard inside about things. And I get really pissed off so easily, so sorry if I pull some bipolar woman on you.
Lastly...
I don't appreciate a lot of things, and I wish people had some sort of decency. They just keep disappointing you in the end, and honestly... I just hope karma bites you really hard in the ass because that was seriously messed up. So serious, I swear id watch out if I were you &if I really do end up right with my little insinuations and assumptions, dude id be superduper pissed, and pack up everything and give it to you... because this last year was full of shit.
Hm 2008, you screwed me over
- my debut was stressfull
- I cried at prom
- parents took pictures of the wrong person at graduation
- I barely passed my science classes
- got into a gripload of arguements
- broke up w/ some dude a lot
- wasted time and money on people who weren't worth it
- gained weight
- lost friends
So 2009 be good to me, please :)
<3 and I realize I feel soo much better after talking to all my friends again. All of them, including the ones I had lost before :) it just makes me feel a lot better.
So new years huh?
I guess I've made a couple of resolutions, though I know im not one to follow through with resolutions, I figure I should give it a shot! :]
1.) 4.0 yes? I can do it
2.) Lose weight
3.) Get lighter [idk how, but I will]
4.) Say what's on my mind when I know I should
5.) Just be chill and not think about things sooo much
6.) :] become super hot (courtesy of joseph flores)
7.) Just be an all around better person that people and myself would like to be around :]
So those are my resolutions. They're pretty good right? Hahaha mmm... pho at 12... I feel like I just ate. Ugh I hate eating now man! Hahaha.I think im sick but whatever.
I've been talking to seany everynight for the past week. I really do owe him a lot, I guess I buy him some pie or something.
Oh yesterday we played basketball. Remind me to not play against meca. I nearly died :] haha it was sooo funny <3!
My days are so packed with everything! Gah I love my friends sooooo much. :) they make life worth living. Mm I just don't want to go back to school now because of them. Haha :] ahhh well. What are you going to do? Lols.
Sidenote: I laugh really hard inside about things. And I get really pissed off so easily, so sorry if I pull some bipolar woman on you.
Lastly...
I don't appreciate a lot of things, and I wish people had some sort of decency. They just keep disappointing you in the end, and honestly... I just hope karma bites you really hard in the ass because that was seriously messed up. So serious, I swear id watch out if I were you &if I really do end up right with my little insinuations and assumptions, dude id be superduper pissed, and pack up everything and give it to you... because this last year was full of shit.
Hm 2008, you screwed me over
- my debut was stressfull
- I cried at prom
- parents took pictures of the wrong person at graduation
- I barely passed my science classes
- got into a gripload of arguements
- broke up w/ some dude a lot
- wasted time and money on people who weren't worth it
- gained weight
- lost friends
So 2009 be good to me, please :)
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