[insert witty title here]

I've been listening to Mickey Avalon's all time favorite "My Dick" and I think I finally find it mildly humorous. I get this feeling my uncle has the urge to kick me off the computer, but he's not going to :) because I'm a brat and I get what I want. Yeeeee. Earlier today my dearly beloved mother asked me how much dolladollabills I had, sadly I came to the realization that I've spent 1,700 in the past month. Lets calculate.

$225 - tubby
$300 - new phone
$250 - springbreeaaak lovin
$150 - sadies/clothes
$175 - food [ omg ): ]
$100 - pichas
$171 - prom tickets
$112 - party bus
$30 - classic black heels

the 200 I left out in the calculation goes to I don't even know but I spent it. I'm a little disappointed in myself and my poor spending habits. Its okay, I'll learn the value of a dollar sometime, even though its value continues to decrease everyday. That's also remotely depressing; America, the highly looked up nation, is crumbling into dirt. Our economy is horrible, check out the gas prices. I never thought they would reach $4.00 thats like my lunch money for the week. Not really but almost! I feel for the nation, this is horrible.

On a brighter note, I attended 24`s Zumba class. It was really enjoyable and I sweat alot. I also ran two miles today. Unfortunately my ab-strength deteriorated due to lack of movitvation. I'm so lazy now a days... I think I'll go to bed now. My eye's been bugging me and they're only getting heavier with each second that passes. Goodnight.

mm senior year :]

26 more days?

So all those previous blog posts about how everything is your last. Ugh, I have to run brb.

in a rush

It seems as though everytime I'm about to post something that seems slightly odd to me, I always decide to blog at the wrong moment. So before I go off on a tangent -- this topic is about change?

The past few weeks or so I've been getting feedback from other people about the various ways I've changed. The only thing wrong with this feedback is that its inconsistent besides the all too cliche line "You've Changed."

So this takes me back to the feeling I felt over Summer which I hoped to never re-visit. Majority of the people have say that I've become meaner with time, then some say its not bad its just different. Its a trait you just have to get used to.

When speaking of this sudden "change" to a friend of mine, he/she simply responded "don't worry about it" so nonchalant. I'm not exactly sure if I should act so indifferent towards what is happening to me. I always feel like when I get so caught up in having fun I tend to lose myself along with the morals I treasured soo much throughout my years of adolecensy [if thats even a word].

I find myself slipping. A vow to never drink alcohol or even take interest in it has been broken. A vow to never do anything including drugs even if its as mild and "hookah" I broke. I'm just not understanding myself. I don't know if its because I'm curious or because I feel like its something every other high schooler should do. I'm leaning towards that reason though. I feel it is something everyone should experience just once throughout their high school career.

But that's just it. Everything thinks its something you do just once, but in all reality it isn't. Once you do it "once" it gives you the ease and what not to do it again. I mean afterall it wasn't harmful the first time, why not do it again?

So here, I guess this is yet again another turning point in my life, and to be honest, I've only had a million of these this year. I guess the transition into becoming an adult is hitting me harder than I thought. Although I may think I'm "ohhh sooo responsible" I feel like I'm regressing into becoming some immature freshman who believes that high school is all about this and all about that when really... it isn't.

I kinda miss my old self... I'm just not sure how to get me back. True change happens within people and sometimes its something you can't help. I'm not using it as an excuse but altruistically speaking -- I really don't know what I did.

All the surrounding reasons that used to seem logical two weeks ago are hardly logical not to mention insensitive. I feel like an absorbent sponge and I didn't think I was that easily influenced, but I guess I am.

I want everything back and then some, but I can't have everything I want.

I don't know what to do

hmmmph

=\

and so...

It is nearing the end of my last high school spring break. Conclusion? Great :). Starting Friday April Fourth till Today, April Twelfth! Surprisingly, we never got sick of each other. I guess that's what makes it fun, is the fact that we always enjoy each others company :]. I don't know though... well I have prom tomorrow so I better rest up! Night Nights <3

mars & venus

I firmly believe that Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus and we completely speak two different languages. Does it not occur to boys that when girls see other girls get asked to something, whether it be a dance or to be their girlfriend, they fuse up with jealousy! At least I do for the most part. Its only clearly evident that I would like to be treated at least somewhat special throughout my whole high school career. Once you're out of high school, there are no events to swoon your girlfriend with. You can't put up a huge sign saying "Prom?" After high school you can't have hopes that your class is jealous that your boyfriend did that for you and you can't have boys get mad at your boyfriend because all the girls are complaining that they never do those cutesy things like that.

So here I am with the rest of the unfortunate girlfriends out there. The last dance of the year, and sadly, no cutesy act what so ever. I've recently come to the realization that my most favors "act of love" is recieving gifts and acts of service. It is only obvious. That's what is wrong with me though, I don't tell him what I want him to do. I assume that he'll do it for me because I do that for him. He enjoys quality time, I enjoy surprises! He absolutely loathes service.

I'm not exactly sure why I'm whining and complaining about my relationship because its ... decent. I'm just mad at what I never get. Bah!

Well stearing clear of bitterness, I love spring break, besides being jealous.


The End.

core four

& at the end of the year all I need are a set of good friends,
luckily I've got the best.