:/ from zee sidekick

Amazing, I wonder how this is going to turn out. I love luckycharms and I took jons and seanys advice to eat a bowl. I figure it might help these weird headaches. Im done eating my cereal and im going to wake up at 8 to run so goodnight

hm...

my boyfriend is in san diego or on his way back for the most part. I quit my job and am applying for a million more just because the whole "marketing" or selling "high quality" knives is not for me. I guess this weekend is going to be another weekend with my mom since shes emotionally unstable. its a little heartbreaking when i hear her but anyways...

me: "gibberish blahbladhflshd... anyways"
erik: "anyways isn't a word"
me: "ANYWAYS"
erik: "I swear, you can look it up in the dictionary"
me: "I failed my grammar section for the placement test by 2 pts"
erik: "That's why you need me to teach you proper english"
me: "gross... ANYWAYS"

I miss my boyfriend. We practically lived together for the past week and a half. HE'S GOING TO NY AND KOREA, oh man I'm going to be lonely. My period is here, byebye PMS :)

hmm...

i hate being premenstrual just because i go through these psychotic mood swings. i think they're stupid, and the worst part is i can't control them. how annoying right? i'm really pessimistic, i think its time i adjusted my attitude and outlook on life. sarcasm is not the way, even if its fun haha. i have a pain in my right hand, its throbbing... gross. well thats all :) i bought a journal to write in so i should probably vent out to that. after all it did cost me fidy cents. haha crazy cheap right? geez i'm retarded.

AWKWARD.

What disappoints me the most
is that I'm the main focus in all my posts

Today while moving my body to the beat, I noticed I'm awkward. Not just awkward while trying to start up a conversation, or the way I carry myself, but awkward as in awkward. I overthink things too much at which it leads me to think everything is awkward therefore I feel very awkward.

On a brighter note:
Today was surprisingly "fun". I actually hung out with my mother. I guess this whole seperation thing is falling through even better than I presumed it would. Don't get me wrong, it sucks having my mom's presence absent at a place I guess I would call "home" but it is alot more peaceful. I can sleep at night (excluding tonight because the computer sucks and I'm not exhausted). I don't really know why I'm blogging either. I guess I'll go and attempt to fall asleep... big day tomorrow!

MSMC!

Placement testing was so awkward. I really felt like a freshman all over again, it was kinda pathetic. Anyways I got my scores in today... and I suck at life. I scored a 21 in math, meaning I move onto the highest math level next year. I'm pretty stoked. Unfortunately I scored a 112 on my Vocab and Reading comprehension [thats passing] BUUUUT I scored a 30 on grammar... when the cutoff was 32. I'm pretty disappointed in myself. I really do need to start reading again. I took a break from Franny and Zooey. I figure I should buy more books just to improve my speaking as well as writing. This sucks. I think I'll go die now.

and ive never been soo...

ecstatic about graduating
all the graduation practices, the idea of special "senior" treatment makes me feel better inside. I feel like i've finally fulfilled all I had to as a high school pupil and I don't think there is anything I have really "missed out" on. There's this overwhelming joy growing inside and college has never looked so appealing. I think I'm ready for something new. Tomorrow is really unpredictable, I really don't know how I'm going to feel but I'm pretty sure it isn't going to be anything horrible. On a brighter note I finally scored myself an interview. I guess my application is a looker, it makes me feel really happy inside. Hopefully I actually score a job, but if I don't its cool. At least I got past step uno, it boosted up my confidence a little :]