Discovery Channel

I think its quite remarkable how I discover things about myself through the most spontaneous events. Its never occured to me that I find enjoyment in discussing topics that are irrelevant to life. I see that you just have to let life go and laugh at it once in a while, because we all need to just laugh at ourselves. You see, if we take ourselves too seriously and feel as though we can't mess up than the pressure of perfection builds and... why do we want to be perfect anyway? It's physically and mentally impossible. Who would have known that by laughing at myself I would discover that it isn't so bad to be a shallow thinker? Maybe I'm not out of the box, maybe I'm not an overthinker, and maybe I'm not profound, but damn do I know how to enjoy myself :)

Going.

The days pass by as if an hour was a minute and a minute was a second and a second was well... I'm not exactly sure anymore. Its crazy how its already the third week of school, and homecoming is coming up soon. When you realize how quickly time passes, it kinda amazes you that you find yourself impacient because "time moves slowly" I guess we depend on time because its the only thing constant in our life. No matter what, time keeps going reguardless of how much you don't want it to.

Today while I was dumping the dryed clothes onto the couch, I overheard my mom say "I don't want to do this anymore." What hit me was the fact that if we don't feel like doing things certain times of our lives, exactly how much time do we waste? I'm kinda bummed that I don't remember 75% of what happened in my life time, I don't even think I can recall all of my teachers, and I'm only a senior in highschool.

Time is really amazing, and when you realizes it too... we should get a cup of coffee and talk about how we're making history. :]

Small Doses

I guess we don't take into account how quickly things change. I mean a duration of two weeks and BAM close friends are gone. I guess I'm just a little shocked but I've been shocked for a while. My eyes are kinda droopy and I haven't done my situps. My 1,000 calorie diet starts tomorrow. :) Wish me luck!

change

We're waiting on the world to change. All this scattered writing and doing whatever I feel like, disreguarding the rules of writing, and well that's pretty much it screwed up my writing skills. I don't know I don't really feel like writing right now. Something doesn't feel all that great... nevermind.

I think

I think my mind is maturing way too fast for my body and age. Today I felt as though maybe I would still get a kick out of "hanging out". I guess I lost it within the first hour, it wasn't pleasant. I think I've become a little more insecure. You know what? I honestly don't understand the concept of a blog anymore? Am I so pathetic that I have to pour my "discoveries" into this digital online journal that is accessible to anyone and everyone? Do I really want people to know? This is stupid, I'm stupid.

Minus a Friend

I woke up early this morning to a warm room. Luckily, my blinds were closed so it kept it about 3 degrees cooler.

So remember how I said I was learning to accept somethings and thats all life is? It really is, after this past week I've realized that some of the strongest friendships feel like they're non-existent. Its okay I guess because well... its not like he/she realizes it anyways. Maybe its just me, but whatever because I don't even care anymore. I really do, its denial and I just want to get over it. It makes me sad when I feel like I don't matter anymore and that maybe some sort of infatuation takes over their lives and completely forget, but what are friends for? No matter how much you abandon them they should stay there, be happy for you, and when they come to the realization, be happy that you still have them. I feel like I'm becoming less and less of a friend, but I don't know... that's cool too. I miss Zaldy, Kevin, and Justin. Maybe its my fault for not making an effort to talk to them because I assume everything will fall back into place whenever I want it too. It isn't burgerking, I can't have it my way all the time.

Being mature certainly has its pros, but I don't know. I don't care. kdjfghksdljfhg...

Well...

I have the sudden urge to urinate. I'll ignore it for now while my stomach kinda grumbles. That's cool too. I finally quenched my longing thirst for "super bad" and well it wasn't bad. The cussing was a little excessive but their refrences to vagina and other sexual terms were really funny. I start SAT classes soon, but I forgot to check my schedule. I fear that if I stand up, all of Niagra Falls will come down. That's impossible, I have self control. School was fun the first day of school, right now its back to "routine." I don't like only knowing my grade and I highly doubt I will make an effort to meet anyone below the 11th grade simplybecause... its too much work and I have alot to do. So, I'm going to go cause I need to pee. bye.