the month of december

This month wasn't half bad. It went really well in the beginning actually! On site admittance to MSMC, I'm glad I know that I'm going to college. I tend to miss school alot, I think I'm getting concerned, thats pretty bad. I remember when I used to want to fill blogs with all these new words that I learned, truth be told, I went straight to thesaurus.com when I needed a synonym. Its so funny that we try to fake what we're not. Appearance really isn't anything and being materialistic isn't good either. I think I stopped although I do long for clothing alot. I wish I had blue chords, that'd be cool. Next thursday I have a photoshoot with hanky panky. I'm pretty excited! Christine Wang is coming over in the morning just to do my makeup. Erik spent 7-10 with me on Christmas, I love him. I know that girls always have their fantasies about marrying the boy they're dating, but they say you shouldn't date someone you wouldn't want to marry... DUH! :) I really like this song "I'll Never Fall In Love Again - The Carpenters" I've recently rekindled my little fettish with Meg & Dia I'm kind of happy because they afterall were one of my favorite bands. I don't understand why I didn't want to like the same things as Erik, but last night we established the fact that we are completely different. Not opposites... but different in views and everything else. Its okay, we complete each other. GROSS. Well I'm going to listen to music and drown myself in chocolate. Yum!

i love.

There are many things in this world that i love, but i love my relationship right now. ignore the previous posts flooded with hate. i love us. :) i think that it just took something pretty big to make us realize how good we have it. and really... we have it really REALLY REALLY good. i know you're jealous inside! ahahha sorry just excited. now i have to go and solve some math problems. yeeeeee!

fghghjh

deleted.

metro station

Today was a swell day. I'm a bit on the drowsy side, but I think its because I actually concentrated when I did my homework. I haven't started on my Spanish project, the instructions are rotting in my folder; hopefully I get it done. Have I ever mentioned that I wish that we never got this god forsaken "TFC" channel. I'm going crazy. I'm filipino but I don't want to listen to tagalog twenty-four seven. I wish I had electric blue pants and a white cardigan sweater. The only things I really want at the moment, oh and white flats. I'm so annoyed at my table. It keeps wobbling back and forth like some sort of see-saw. I'm tired, I think I'll catch up on that beauty sleep... only AFTER I do my sit ups, gosh I have a fat pack :( good night!

so..

for once in my life i've gotten sleep
for once in my life i don't have anything to do
for once in my life i've been able to think to myself

and at this time, i'm not exactly sure what's happening. i could be over reacting; due to my hormone imbalance cause it is that time of month. i don't know anything is possible. this happens alot though...

what the hell am i thinking? i feel like i'm drifting apart from everything and everyone. school really is my life and upon reflecting with marina and having millions of conversations about everything and nothing at all... i realize that i don't have time to myself to think, and when i do finally get to think, it doesn't really turn out well. i'm so lost right now its kind of really sad. hm... i don't know what i want in life. i dont know where im applying to. im such an under achiever. i hate my life. whatever... im SO over it all...

I wishhh

My english class assigned more writing assignments. I really do need to work on writing, alloooottt!!

Credit cards are more than plastic and piled up debts. At the age of 5, girls develop a need for materialistic things, whether it be the newest barbie toy, or the latest sneakers released at Payless. With this urge to satisfy their tangible needs, they grow up into superficial consumers, hungry for each season's trend to fill their outdated closets. This leads to a surplus of naivety and ignorance as well as impaired judgement. Instead of judging people on their character and genuinity, they judge them on their ability to match colors and material. The big picture of it all is rather

blend of everything all together

These past few weeks have been the most ultimately fast weeks of my life. I don't think I've ever had so much to do, its actually really fun. I think I enjoy being preoccupied because when I have time to myself... I'm not exactly sure what to do except find a task that I probably should complete. There's no such thing as relaxation anymore, and when I said that I enjoy staying at home [don't get me wrong, staying at home is quite fun] I think I get more of a kick out of arranging books or something. I think I go through multiple phases at which I experience the weirdest mood swings. What if I develop schitzophrenia? WHOAwhoaWHOA. Just kidding, well I'm off to read. I love words. I don't think I'll ever get sick of words no matter how limited my vocabulary may be.

:)

these lines and curves are amazing. at this time i am washing clothes, giving a "yogurt" review, and thinking about when i should shower... maybe in 10 minutes.

:] i love socializing. i love the smell of just washed clothes. i love knowing that ive completed all i have to. i love love. dfghdfkjh!

Discovery Channel

I think its quite remarkable how I discover things about myself through the most spontaneous events. Its never occured to me that I find enjoyment in discussing topics that are irrelevant to life. I see that you just have to let life go and laugh at it once in a while, because we all need to just laugh at ourselves. You see, if we take ourselves too seriously and feel as though we can't mess up than the pressure of perfection builds and... why do we want to be perfect anyway? It's physically and mentally impossible. Who would have known that by laughing at myself I would discover that it isn't so bad to be a shallow thinker? Maybe I'm not out of the box, maybe I'm not an overthinker, and maybe I'm not profound, but damn do I know how to enjoy myself :)

Going.

The days pass by as if an hour was a minute and a minute was a second and a second was well... I'm not exactly sure anymore. Its crazy how its already the third week of school, and homecoming is coming up soon. When you realize how quickly time passes, it kinda amazes you that you find yourself impacient because "time moves slowly" I guess we depend on time because its the only thing constant in our life. No matter what, time keeps going reguardless of how much you don't want it to.

Today while I was dumping the dryed clothes onto the couch, I overheard my mom say "I don't want to do this anymore." What hit me was the fact that if we don't feel like doing things certain times of our lives, exactly how much time do we waste? I'm kinda bummed that I don't remember 75% of what happened in my life time, I don't even think I can recall all of my teachers, and I'm only a senior in highschool.

Time is really amazing, and when you realizes it too... we should get a cup of coffee and talk about how we're making history. :]

Small Doses

I guess we don't take into account how quickly things change. I mean a duration of two weeks and BAM close friends are gone. I guess I'm just a little shocked but I've been shocked for a while. My eyes are kinda droopy and I haven't done my situps. My 1,000 calorie diet starts tomorrow. :) Wish me luck!

change

We're waiting on the world to change. All this scattered writing and doing whatever I feel like, disreguarding the rules of writing, and well that's pretty much it screwed up my writing skills. I don't know I don't really feel like writing right now. Something doesn't feel all that great... nevermind.

I think

I think my mind is maturing way too fast for my body and age. Today I felt as though maybe I would still get a kick out of "hanging out". I guess I lost it within the first hour, it wasn't pleasant. I think I've become a little more insecure. You know what? I honestly don't understand the concept of a blog anymore? Am I so pathetic that I have to pour my "discoveries" into this digital online journal that is accessible to anyone and everyone? Do I really want people to know? This is stupid, I'm stupid.

Minus a Friend

I woke up early this morning to a warm room. Luckily, my blinds were closed so it kept it about 3 degrees cooler.

So remember how I said I was learning to accept somethings and thats all life is? It really is, after this past week I've realized that some of the strongest friendships feel like they're non-existent. Its okay I guess because well... its not like he/she realizes it anyways. Maybe its just me, but whatever because I don't even care anymore. I really do, its denial and I just want to get over it. It makes me sad when I feel like I don't matter anymore and that maybe some sort of infatuation takes over their lives and completely forget, but what are friends for? No matter how much you abandon them they should stay there, be happy for you, and when they come to the realization, be happy that you still have them. I feel like I'm becoming less and less of a friend, but I don't know... that's cool too. I miss Zaldy, Kevin, and Justin. Maybe its my fault for not making an effort to talk to them because I assume everything will fall back into place whenever I want it too. It isn't burgerking, I can't have it my way all the time.

Being mature certainly has its pros, but I don't know. I don't care. kdjfghksdljfhg...

Well...

I have the sudden urge to urinate. I'll ignore it for now while my stomach kinda grumbles. That's cool too. I finally quenched my longing thirst for "super bad" and well it wasn't bad. The cussing was a little excessive but their refrences to vagina and other sexual terms were really funny. I start SAT classes soon, but I forgot to check my schedule. I fear that if I stand up, all of Niagra Falls will come down. That's impossible, I have self control. School was fun the first day of school, right now its back to "routine." I don't like only knowing my grade and I highly doubt I will make an effort to meet anyone below the 11th grade simplybecause... its too much work and I have alot to do. So, I'm going to go cause I need to pee. bye.

Positive Correlation

I think you could use "positive correlation" when referring to life right? You grow older you gain more, and so on and so forth. Today I haven't been as productive as I was yesterday but I got my shoes in so I'm more jolly about clothes than I am about education. My middle name is semi-materialistic and the monster is building up again.

I guess you could say that spoiling a child doesn't do them any good, and it probably doesn't, but when you're placed into the situation where you can get anything you want... man does it feel quite nice. English class was chill today, I'm bringing in books and magazines to read in that class since I have a feeling we'll be doing chill reading often.

Hm... my mind isn't exactly filled with things to blurt out, but what I can say is that I am craving toast with butter. I don't have toast though... fkjghlfkjh SCREW LOW FOOD SUPPLY.

Last First

day of highschool // anything with a number used to symbolize which level of education I'm recieving.

I'm somewhat shocked of how weird it will be when I don't walk the halls of Walnut High School anymore just because I know I won't be there in a couple of months. Well, I guess you could say today went fairly well. My classes are really chill and so are the teachers. I'm really appreciative that the people in the classes I'm in are all so open, it feels nice. Sadly, I don't have any FA people in any of my classes, but that isn't anything new because it's like that every year :[. At least this gives me an opportunity to get to know the people around me that I haven't gotten the chance to. My first period and my fifth period are going to be my favorites, and maybe even fourth just because bahhh I could go on and on ranting about how great my classes are. :) I didn't see all that I wanted to see today but I have tomorrow and I honestly think it's going to be awkward!

My order from urbanoutfitters is coming in tomorrow. I can't wait for my brown sandals :D. Okay byebye.

So Long

Farewell, my summers officially over. To summarize it all up in one word, I'd have to say "memorable". This summer I've come to the realization that sometimes, friends are only there for you because they feel obliged and I don't want someone to be forced into a friendship. I've also come to realize that well... people are bitches that have no clue in life but to fall under the stereotype. People let you down, you don't understand what happens, but in the end you just have to accept it all. People change, sometimes they change for the better but majority of the time its for the worst.

Well, tomorrow will be my last first day of highschool. I feel as though I should make this year count the most. I hereby state that my number one goal this year is to hella live it up because come college, I know that I probably won't have the most time for the people that mean the most to me. I probably won't even come in contact with my acquaintances, and I don't think I'll be stepping on the grounds of Walnut High School for a while. I'm feeling a little nostalgic and its not that great. Its okay, I've had my turn right? life goes on and I'm going to go with it.

Old.

I think I've come to my senses. I'm fine and right now everything I'm doing is pretty logical, or so I think. I haven't been out this whole week unless I had to be. I've been exercising daily and getting good amounts of sleep. I've been accomplishing alot too.

So I remember when I wondered why it was that I acted like I was so little and why I wish I could have stayed that way forever. Well, its not so bad knowing everything and I guess when you get older you tend to accept change more easily because you tend to experience it frequently. The more to refuse to accept the harder it is for you to adapt in the long run. I'm okay with myself right now, I just hope I don't go through my quarter-life crisis and realize that I have much to live for and I'm not exactly living it up right now. I am though, I'm as healthy as can be, and I still have friends I can rely on even though I do miss out on their daily trips to another friends house. Its alright, I think I'll be okay. I'm ready for senior year and I'm definitely ready to grow up. <3

vindicated I am...

Only the most sore person on planet Earth right now. August 27, at 12 a.m. I plan to sleep on my driveway just so I could see, with my own two eyes, two moons. Excitement is building up inside of me and I don't know whether I should jump for joy or play a really cool song. Aha.

Highlight of my day:
Marina said that I was getting lighter. I honestly wish I were pale with green eyes and black hair... and maybe a pointy nose while I'm at it.

Then again I realize that God makes us all look different for a reason. What's the point of wanting something else when you already have a beautiful set of your own body parts and features. I guess that's what is so beautiful about human beings we're all so different but the same. No one is identical! :)

Well... my eyes are a bit on the weary side so I guess I'll sleep well tonight!

6:30 a.m. & Garbage

Last night, I had the best sleep ever. Sadly, my Mother woke me up at 6:30 or earlier to tell me she was worried that the trashman wasn't going to dump out all of our trash so I had to follow him and talk to him. There I was sitting half-awake on my doorstep, waiting for a huge truck full of trash to come by so I could share with him my mother's worry. Until today, I never realized how loud their cars were. Right as the truck came in clear view of my driveway, I ran to it... but apparently I'm only one of the shortest things on Earth so its not like they could see me. I tried to yell "EXCUSE ME" but as most of you know, I have a puny voice that only a squirrel could hear. I then realized that it wasn't just my black trashcan that was still full... but my whole block's. My irritable behavior rose and I insisted on calling my mom to blame her for waking me up and being so ignorant. I guess she just wanted to have a clean, trash-less house. Up to now I'm still pretty angry because I have no plans for the day and sleeping makes the day go faster. I've already completed all my exercising and cleaning for the day.

The internet is boring, and my eyes hurt. I'm going to dance to Shiny Toy Guns. Enjoy yourselves.

...

I'M OVER MY INSOMNIA

My pathetic attempt to talk to Antony allowed me to feel sleepy and at the moment my eyes feel slightly droopy. It's great, and I feel really great too. Today was kindof rocky but hey, eff it thug life? I don't know. Well I think I'll lay in bed. Goodnight :)

Unhealthy

I'm living an unhealthy lifestyle. Welcome to staying up till four, tossing and turning, aching to go to sleep. Welcome to waking up and constantly checking your phone to make sure you have a sufficient amount of time to do things. Welcome to staring at yourself in the mirror trying to figure out what the hell you need to do today. Welcome to being exposed to television and sitting on the couch wasting the day away. Welcome to having absolutely no aspirations or goals to fulfill. Welcome to Adrienne-Rae Datuin Velasquez's no good, worthless, pathetic life.

I tend to use pathetic alot; usually when I have to describe myself. I think the disneychannel lacks more and more talent with the people they hire. Everyone is so damn corny, and well I don't know if their goal is to inspire or to turn boys into gays and girls into bimbos. I'm rude. I think I'll go and eat a popsicle again.

I fancy true white colored shoes and yellow denim ;].

screw insomnia

For the past week, I've been sleeping terribly late and I don't know why. This minor case of insomnia [I call it minor because I'm able to sleep past 3 and only past 3] is tickling my last nerve and I really really just want to sleep. I miss being so sleepy I mumble on the telephone. Lately, my mind has just been so awake that it tires me out. My dreams have been ultra weird as well.

I have school in seven days, and for once in my life... it feels good to say that. I drove my mom's car today, I'm pretty horrible at it when there's other cars on the road. :) then again, who the hell am I kidding? There will always be a car on the road.

On a lighter note, I got to spend about an hour just talking to the guys on my front yard. We talked about pointless topics but at least I got a say in it cause most of the time I talk on the phone with Erik, my conversations and small comments are unecessary. Maybe I'm unnecessary. Phucket. I should probably attempt to sleep. PSYKE. I'm off to an interesting conversation with my all time favorite egyptian, Antony Girgis! Laters!

flashbacks

I chose to stay home today. I feel like I'm thirteen again, the only difference is that it was my choice to cage myself in. True, I could be missing out on one of the best days of my life, doing the most spontaneous things, laughing at absolutely nothing, and possibly even achieving a new goal while I'm at it. Whatever, I think I'm sick and its not a good feeling.

Actually, I'm not physically ill. I feel insane in the membrane if you know what I'm sayin. All this going out, having fun, thinking of things to do has fried my brain and I honestly didn't think it was possible. Right now all I can think about is how big of a grouch I'll be by the age of thirthy. Laughing gives you wrinkles anyways.

My new collection of bands consist of: Every Avenue, The Vincent Malloy Project, Permanent Me, Metrio Station, We the Kings, and today is the Metro Station show in Fullerton. If I found about them earlier, I'm 75% sure I would have been there. Scenes from a movie aren't that bad either.

Screw this, I feel pathetic again.

Over&Over

So this is probably my third blogger account I've made since freshman year. I think I'm pretty pathetic and irresponsible, but I should probably keep that to myself. Today was a little on the downside due to my lack of sleep and food. I'm in desperation for a study table and an apple laptop, and while I'm at it, I NEED MY LICENSE DAMMIT.

Lately, I've observed the fact that one tiny person can channel a large amount of anger. You'd be surprised how much. I'm tired but my sleeping patterns are horrible and I think my mind tends to wander off frequently. I think too much.

I'm contemplating on buying Boys Like Girls tickets for their fall show; I haven't listened to them in a while and I'm not exactly sure Paul DiGiovanni is that attractive to waste 16 dollars on. Who knows? I guess I'll look into it more. I should attempt to sleep again but I'm somewhat scared of being disappointed that I can't. Dammit.