whatever

i just want to lay in bed and pretend i dont have a life. i just dont want to do anything but sleep and not think about anything because honestly as each day goes by, im liking myself less and less. i hate it. i haaaateee it so badly and i hate you. i hate how i still get the sickest like panic attacks by merely knowing that you're within the same area. i hate that i cant stand you nor can i handle the situation maturely [i mean i can, but in all reality its just so hard and tolerating and tryna act like its whatevs really seems impossible that im simply just too lazy to put in that much effort], i hate that i think about you, i hate that i dream about you. i hate that in everyway no matter what... i still look for guys with characteristics similar to yours... i hate it. i hate it all. i just hate you.